Realizing Provision

1. When zucchinis decide to grow, they really go for it. There are so many things you can do with zucchini, (zucchini bruschetta, mini zucchini pizzas, and zucchini quiche to name a few. And honestly, can one ever have too much zucchini bread?) but 13 zucchinis every 3-4 days is a little excessive. I became a zucchini woman. A zucchini woman is someone who takes zucchinis everywhere with her—including bridal showers and church. It is helpful for a zucchini woman to have friends who are willing to consider zucchinis party favors. My sister-in-law Jasmine gave me the idea of a summer zucchini business in future summers. The plan is to plant the whole garden in zucchini and sell fresh zucchini and zucchini products. While people eat zucchini bread and zucchini bruschetta, I will play my ukulele for them. It will be called “Kerra’s Zukes and Uke.” I thought this was a good idea until I pulled the half-rotted zucchini plants out of my garden the other night. It required writing a new prayer. “From toadies and buggies and long-leggedy spidies and things that go jump in the zucchinis, Good Lord, deliver my hands from accidentally touching.”

2. It is handy to plan book club meetings when the book club is you and your parents. But sometimes, you might have discussed most of the book before you ever get to your meeting.

3. Sometimes, you get really excited about this new idea such as “embracing the days.” And you find this quote that fits your new idea perfectly. And you share it with people as though you have figured this out. And you circle the days on your calendar instead of ex-ing them out. And then, all of a sudden, things like feeling sick and mosquitoes and sadness and weeds and guilt and just about everything small and large seem determined to keep you from embracing the days and living well.

4. Sometimes after you learn a new word, it starts showing up everywhere. This summer, the word that this happened with was not a prestigious, sophisticated word. It was “foodstuffs.” I just didn’t know you could put “food” and “stuffs” together like that.

5. Sometimes, the only thing you can do is take a picture.

6. Nature is full of loveliness. There are bunnies, and the teeniest tiniest bird you’ve ever seen, and glass-winged dragonflies, and rainbows in a dark orange foreboding sky. And there is so much to learn. Who knew teasel blooms purple? Or that garter snakes look poisonous in a first-time meeting? Or that there is a type of flower called “phlox?” It is fun to plant phlox in your own pot and to make all sorts of jokes about being a shepherdess when you water them. I am officially a terrible shepherdess. I have not been leading my phlox to enough still waters.

7. Shingles actually come in big blocks—not the individual little sections that I thought they did. They need to be cut. Also, hitting your thumb with a hammer hurts, but if it happens, you may as well embrace having a worker man hand for a couple weeks. I learned these lessons from re-shingling the garden shed roof with Dad. It was kind of fun, but I don’t think roofing is the career for me. I like standing on solid ground.

• 

• 

8. “Do not be anxious about anything” is a hard command to follow. I don’t want to control all the world, but it would be nice to control my own little life. It would be nice to control whether or not I get Covid, and whether or not I spread it to anyone. It would be nice to not have to make constant decisions about what is safe and what is loving my neighbor. Anxiety and need to be in control are definitely not the way to freedom. But surrender and letting God be God is really hard some days.

9. Having a 16-month-old nephew is every bit as delightful as I ever dreamed it would be. He is constantly making us laugh, and we can’t help but smother him with attention. His smile is priceless. Something about being with Seth makes me feel close to His Creator- the One who forms babies and invites us to live in the freedom children live in because we’re His children.

10. Pressure and I are still not friends. I played disc golf this summer for the first time. We played on a course that was intertwined with a real golf course, so I had to be aware of nearby golfers so as to not hit them with my frisbee. At one point, we were teeing off close to two real golfers who were also waiting to tee off. They assured us that we could go ahead and that we wouldn’t be in their way. Naturally, I threw a terrible drive that missed the one guy by inches and landed my disc under the other guy’s cart. Can you see why pressure and I are having relationship struggles?

11. I have this tendency to veer into two ditches concerning the gifts of the Creator. The one ditch is treating the joy of relationships, laughter, knowing and being known, the fulfillment of an accomplishment, affirmation, the beauty of creation, art, food, etc. as ends in themselves and forgetting the Giver. The other ditch is overcorrecting by thinking I should deprive myself of these gifts, and trying to see God while ignoring His generosity. I’m grateful He’s so patient as I figure this out.

12. Psalm 139 has been beautiful to me this summer. I am a broken person. But I’m still with the Father, and He’s still with me, and that kind of amazes me every day.